Lakelands residents Amy and Allen Howell have been happily married for 25 years.
“Allen was the stepbrother of my roommate, and everyone kept pushing me to go out with him even though I was seeing someone else at the time. They all just liked Allen so much better than the other guy,” Amy said.
At the time, one of those friends said, “Just go out with him; you don’t have to marry the guy.” But that is exactly what Amy did.
Amy and Allen Howell were married in 1987, and now some 25 years later, they reflect on what makes their love and marriage thrive.
“We really are the ying and the yang,” Amy said. “We complement each other. He is more serious, and I am more artistic and laid back. We come from different backgrounds, but we balance each other out. On the first date, I just knew.”
One of the most apparent differences was the couples’ faith. Amy was raised in a Jewish home, and Allen had a Christian upbringing. “I was not entrenched in my faith and Amy was,” Allen said. “I had spent a lot of time in the homes of Jewish friends so it wasn’t totally unfamiliar to me.”
So, their son, Perry, was born into the Jewish faith in April 1993. Amy gave up her career in graphic arts to stay home with him.
“I had a security clearance because I worked for the Army, so it is trickier to come back into the workplace once you take a break. I had worked while Allen was in law school and was ready to focus on motherhood,” she said.
As the only child, Perry became the focus for the couple. “We really did everything together, Amy said. “We didn’t get a babysitter for Perry until he was almost 2 years old. Even then, I didn’t want to. We always enjoyed spending time with him. We have never been into the girls’ night out and guys’ night out thing. We stick together.”
The family was one of the first to settle in Lakelands in fall 1999. “There weren’t very many people here when we moved in, but we knew it would be a great family neighborhood,” Allen said.
The family still calls Lakelands home, but the dynamic shifted this August when Perry left to attend college at Northeastern University in Boston. The empty nest has been an adjustment for the couple.
“When we dropped Perry at school, we just drove around,” Amy said. “We weren’t ready to go home, to leave him. Finally we had no choice, we had to get back.”
In the ensuing months, the Howells have adapted to the free time. “We have started having early dinners in the evenings,” said Amy, “and relaxing at home. We often dine out with friends, but really, we are homebodies. The only problem is, I shower all my mothering on Allen and the two dogs now. I don’t know how much Allan likes that. The dogs love it.”
“We do more spontaneous things, like a weekend at the beach or a day trip,” Allen said, “but that is really the only change. We have always done things together, the only difference is that we are not working around so much of a schedule with just the two of us.”
The Howells may be enjoying more events as a couple these days, but Perry is never far from their minds. “We keep our phones on the table at dinner and handy all the time, just in case he calls or texts. We want him to know we are still there for him.”
Just like they have been there for each other for over two decades.